Cheating with Swine Flu

I haven't been posting so much! And I wish I had something to write about. I do not. But let's see what I can dig up... shall we?

Swine Flu. What. The. FUCK! First of all, I feel like the news is causing mass hysteria. Okay, not really, just mass hysteria in me lol I mean, I'm thinking, wtf, I can't eat any fucking pork?! And then I see "not spread through food." Motherfucker, thank you. But it's just like the flu right? Remember when we were all buying gas masks preparing for the Bird Flu? We thought there was going to be a fucking zombie-like infection. There was not. So... Swine flu is going to end just like that, right?

Second: I'm talking to this kid right now. We've never even really hung out (hanged out?) that much but he used to like me. I think he still kind of does. Yet, he just told me he just got married with a kid on the way. And I still feel like he likes me! And trust me, this is not an inflation of my ego. I am always surprised when people like me. Anyways, CUH-REEPY. He's a nice kid though. He told me he watched Rent last night because he knows I love it! Good news is, I've never really liked him so... no trouble for me.

Third: It's supposed to be around 90 degrees today. NICE! If only the pool were open! I'm wearing a mini skirt today. Now I only have to find somewhere to shake my ass at. Just kidding.

Til another time my friends....

I'm baaaaaaaack!

Hello darlings! Did you miss your mommy? I bet.

I've been away. Writing musicals, having sex with Jonas Brothers, falling in and out of love with manic pixie dream girls and... hell, I've done none of those things. In actuality, I got kicked out of my apartment and had to quit my job.

You might be happy to hear that I have followed through with my New Year resolutions. I am not afraid to fall in love. I value my money. I do play my violin. I do accept opportunities. I've read some books and listened to some music. I have written several poems and started a few short stories. I've got to finish them, and I think I will.

I guess I don't really have much to say, huh?

I'll come up with something good. I pinky swear.

Flight

I've been neglecting this baby. I haven't even been reading all the blogs I'm subscribed to. I'll catch up on those tomorrow :) Any how, I am in love with this video. It's a little old but this is Morgan Karr, super gorgeous and super amazing Spring Awakening swing (RIP Spring Awakening, btw) at the Want the Change concert in December singing "Flight" by Craig Carnelia. This song is so beautiful, I've had it on repeat all day. Why have I NEVER heard this song before? Enjoy. <3

WTF Jo Bros?

Is it just me or does my blog ask you to log into Keepingupwithjonas.com? WHY? I do not want to connect with what I assume is a Jonas Brothers website. Once upon a time I wanted to corrupt them, remember that? But I do not want to go to a Jo Bros website.

It only happens when you go to the direct home page, rather than clicking individual blog entries.

Is this happening to anyone of the 0-5 people who read my blog?

Here I Come 2009!

Well 2009 has crept up pretty fast! Do you agree? I figure I better set some New Year's Resolutions that I'm not going to follow through with.

1) In 2009 I resolve to not be afraid to fall in love.

I know, that's lame and emo but you'd understand if you saw how fast I start running in the opposite direction when The Boy says any sentence with the words "in love". Scary words!!!! Oh yes, he has said that he's in love with me. Then for the most part I freak out (except for that one time where I was "flattered". I was though.) He won't say anything about it for like months, then he tries again. I'm still programed to freak out. I'm almost positive that I have control over this reaction? lol So for 2009, no more freaking out. I can handle this like a normal person.

2) In 2009 I resolve to be more independent.

True facts: I don't have a car, I can't even drive, I can't cook to save my life... um, what else? In 2009 I need to learn how to actually cook so I can stop eating pre-cooked things. I'm pretty sick of hot pockets, hot dogs and chicken wings. I'm going to work on this car thing or at least buy some bus tickets.

3) In 2009 I resolve to not complain about my lack of money.

Since it's not 2009, here's my complaint: After paying rent I only had $80 left for 2 weeks. Somehow that's basically gone and I've had to dip into my Christmas money. I was definitely planning on buying myself something nice, like strings to play my violin. But now I have more bills and food to buy. SO, in 2009, no more complaints like that. There are people with families to support who have less than I have. I need to CUT IT OUT.

Speaking of violin strings....
4) In 2009 I resolve to start playing violin again.

It's just sitting under my bed doing nothing. I love that thing. I should start playing again. It's such a fantastic emotional outlet. I'm not the best but I do love it.

5) In 2009 I resolve to accept more opportunities.

That's right. Opportunity walks through the door and I just totally snub it. So far I've turned down manager jobs, scholarships, invitations, etc etc etc. I don't know what is wrong with me, do you? People would die for the things I've been offered. So, 2009, I will say "Yes" to more things! (Yes Man with Jim Carrey is a pretty good movie, by the way.)

6) I resolve to read more books and discover new music.

The very soul of my existence relies on stories and music. I have not been reading as many books as I would like to. I'm definitely not doing anything else so I might as well read. When I can afford it, I'll buy a new book or two. New music is always right around the corner. I have to give everything a chance and start filling up my music library!

Lastly,

7) In 2009, I resolve to write more.

What happened to the days when I would write 80 things at the same time? I've always wanted to be a writer. I was going to major in writing in college. Now, when was the last time I actually wrote something? I used to have such a passion for writing and I used to spend hours around the house planning, plotting and writing. There is a mountain of folders and notebooks under my bed waiting for my pen to touch them again. I may have to start with baby steps but in 2009, I will write many, many words.

Happy New Year, guys!

Of two things I'm sure.

Here are a couple things that I have learned:
1) There are two kinds of people in the world- dumpees and dumpers.

I am not a relationship person. I've been in one relationship that I count as semi-real. That lasted all of two months and I was not even truly invested in the relationship. I was more into the hanging out/holding hands part than anything else. But if we are going to base my place on the scale on that relationship, I am a dumpee. And only because he dumped me before I could dump him. I was over the relationship already, I was just riding it out though. That probably means that I will forever be a dumpee. Unless I meet the emoest person on the planet. I sure as hell will have to dump them first.

EDIT- I also had a relationship that I accidentally got in to. That lasted over the weekend. Then I dumped him! According to the John Green definitition of getting dumped, this counts! I am so excited! So I am about even. Actually, now that I think about it- the boy I dumped was emo.

2) All relationships end in a break up, divorce or death.

I am not particularly fond of any of those things so I think I prefer to have 0% chance of encountering them. That is my problem. I think way too far ahead. I'm thinking about the break up before a relationship even starts. The end result is me being "busy", "kind of taken", or "not interested". I tend to wait for fate to let me know when to even make friends with someone. If I don't feel it in my soul, I'm not going to talk to you. True facts.

But why the heck should I be so afraid?

I need to take chances. Close my eyes and leap head first into a big bowl of relationships.

That Manic Pixie Dream Girl

Naturally, I am a huge fan of John Green, the author of Looking for Alaska, as well as An Abundance of Katherines and his new, NY Times Bestseller, Paper Towns. While watching a live broadcast from a stop on his Book/Nerdfighting Tour, I quickly became obsessed with something called the Manic Pixie Dream Girl.

The Manic Pixie Dream Girl was something I had never heard of. Forgive me if I'm a bit slow and you're thinking, "How could you not know what a Manic Pixie Dream Girl was?" Although, I'm not sure I know anyone who would know the term so you can blame the company I keep.

The term was coined by Nathan Rabin to describe Kirsten Dunst's character in Elizabethtown (which I've never seen so I won't talk about it much...) According to Rabin, a manic pixie dream girl "exists solely in the fevered imaginations of sensitive writer-directors to teach broodingly soulful young men to embrace life and its infinite mysteries and adventures."

The Manic Pixie Dream Girl is a fascinating creature in my eyes. There are several notable MPDGs, and I'm not going to talk about them (although, I'm already addicted to Natalie Portman's MPDG in Garden State and you should check that out yourself). I'm going to talk about the ones I know the best and the ones I care for the most.

Mimi Marquez, the HIV-positive, heroin addicted S&M stripper from Rent is a MPDG and I never even saw it. She believes that today is all that matters, she runs without regrets. Roger is a recluse, recovering from a heroin addiction. Mimi yearns for someone while Roger doesn't even want to leave the heatless loft, let alone form new relationships. Her one wish to go "out tonight" changes Roger's life forever.

What a mighty fine sentence to end on because that leads me right to the newest and most fascinating MPDG I have come across (in these last two weeks): Margo Roth Spiegelman. Margo's wish to go out tonight had similar effects on Quentin Jacobsen, otherwise known as Q. In Paper Towns, Margo Roth Spiegelman (who is really so awesome even to me that her full name MUST be used) has been Q's next door neighbor since they were two years old. With three and a half weeks of senior year left, Margo Roth Spiegelman crosses that dog-shock-collar-line created by high school cliques, and reunites with Q. At his bedroom window. Just before midnight. Dressed like a ninja. It only gets better from there. I don't want to spoil anything for you but Margo Roth Spiegelman is so incredibly amazing with her crafty plans of revenge and enough awesomeness to break into a theme park in the middle of the night that I wish she was my best friend.

Rabin writes, of the MPDG, that you "either want to marry her instantly... or [you] want to commit grievous bodily harm against them and their immediate family." For parts of the book, I was swinging for the latter team. She had Q wrapped around her finger and so caught up in her game that I was actually pissed off. But part of me always loved her. In the end, I did love her. And I wish that I had even .01% MPDG in my soul. I want to be that MPDG!

While most people would be quick to point out that the MPDG is not real- that she is a fictional device, floating among the Knights in Shining Armour and the Mary Sues, I would like to argue that the MPDG must be out there some where. She is out there. But maybe she's a little bit more manic than pixie. And maybe she's a little bit more girl than dream. Perhaps the crazy and wild is nothing but a cover for the fragile and beautiful girl that's underneath... but still- she's out there.