Save the Drama for Your Mama

Let's talk about how my life is like an episode of Cops.

It is SO embarrassing to be outside at 6AM, talking to some cops, in your pajamas in the middle of the driveway of an apartment complex. And, yes, people were actually awake at that hour. Two ladies actually jogged by. I wanted to hide.

Why was I in my pajamas talking to cops outside at 6 AM?

Long story. Basically, my mother has been in a bad mood all week and we (meaning my sister and I) were getting sick of it. We'd been arguing the night before and my mother threatened to kick us out the house (again). She also spent the night talking on the phone, and trashing us to her mother. It was lovely. Naturally we got pissed, and I admit it got a little out of hand and she has every right to say we were, "disrespectful". However, she started it.

Anyways, I haven't really explain why the cops were there. At 5:45 I was woken by a blow to the leg. She slapped the crap out of my leg- there are three long scratches down my leg that were actually bleeding a little. The previous night she started saying she was getting rid of our cat. (I suppose this was supposed to be "punishment" although she said it was because she was "allergic".) So, she hits me, I jump up like a fucking burglar is in the house. She scared the shit out of me. And she starts yelling for the cat carrier. She thought we hid it from her but it's only in the closet. She runs to get it and my sister runs to get our cat. Cat and sister jump into her bed and my mum starts to yell for the cat to be given to her. My sister refuses so my mum starts to smack my sister with the bag. This shit is like semi-hard plastic and zippers and everything so I imagine it can't be too comfortable to be hit with. My sister fights back in retaliation and I think my mum ditched the cat carrier just starts hitting her. I try to pull my mum off of my sister, to no avail because I'm pretty useless in fights. My mum then runs into the kitchen, returns with a god damn KNIFE. We were really scared then because we knew my mum definitely had the power to stab the hell out of both of us, and no doubt she would definitely do it.

At that point I was going to call the police. I reach for my cell phone. Not there. I reach for my sister's phone. Not there. I look on the floor, they're not there. I pretty much started panicking then. My mum actually hid our phones from us. And we don't have a house phone so there's trouble right there. All I could do was scream and hope a neighbor would call the cops. Me and my sister were like crying by then.

Well, my mom left the room (stabbed no one, for the record) and called the cops on her own phone. I do believe she told the cops to come or someone was going to die. She was going to kill us. Then she sobbed a little. Which at that point I actually felt bad. My mum has a history of mental illness.

I don't know what happened after that. I mean, the cops questioned me and I really had NO idea of what had happened. I remember wondering why I couldn't hear sirens. My mom went outside and then a little while later there was a knock on the door. Some cops talked to us. They took my mum to the hospital because apparently my sister actually banged her up a bit. One cop was actually really nice to us and he was talking to us about college (which made me cry because well... that's another story). The other cop was questioning me and we were both laughing b/c seriously, everything happened so fast that I don't know WHAT happened... Ugh.

We both went back to sleep after that. Then, as I was dreaming about Lin-Manuel Miranda putting me on his top friends (he sent me a playbill the day before, by the way), there was another knock on the door. The cops again. They said my mum ran away from them at the hospital so as soon as they found her, they were going to arrest her. She's actually in jail now. I feel really bad. I know my sister probably doesn't. She was attacked too. What I hate is that my mom told the cops and her mother that WE jumped her. Now our grandmother probably hates us (we hate her too, so at least it's mutual). The cops know that vice versa is the truth, thank God.

I don't know what happens now. My sister and mother go to court tomorrow for "breech of peace". My sister and I basically have no way of communication except for the computer. We still can't find our phones. My dad doesn't even know what happened yet. I emailed him though. I've been walking to work for the past two days. It's about 2 miles from my house, which you wouldn't think was bad but I'm so out of shape that I'm in pain and walking like a bowlegged freak.

I'm too embarrassed to mention this at work. They're going to wonder why I don't return their calls or text. But I don't know... I can't say. My manager asked me if my mom was home from her vacation yet and I like froze. Should I say something, or shouldn't I? He thought he was wrong because of my pause: "She... did go on vacation, right?" Ha. Yes, she did. I just said she was home. Even though she was totally in jail. I'm to embarrassed to even say I walk to work so I think this is going to the graves too.