Stuck in the Past

At what point do you cross the line into "stalking"?

I'm just wondering, because all last night I was thinking about the infamous Freshmen Love. AH. Yes. I went there. It was horrible. No matter how much I convince myself that I don't like him, that I never liked him, and that it would never work between us, I always end up having those random moments where I just think about him. WHY? I've spent years trash talking relationships and there's one that I can't even get away from.

So, anyways, I'm talking about stalking because the kid probably thinks that is exactly what I am doing. I've sent him a couple of messages on MySpace that I don't think he replied to. I lost his number so I sent him mine.... But then I found it again and I kind of want to text him. But you know, I really think he won't reply. We used to be tight. We stayed up and chatted til 3 AM once. Now, I really think he's trying to leave me in the dust. He has a girlfriend too and from what I hear, she's kind of a bitch. The last thing I need is to get my ass kicked by some girl.

And that's another thing too. I don't want to be like a homewrecker. I always feel bad for those girls. It'd be pretty selfish of me to try and steal him back. But I'm not going to lie. If he ever wanted to leave/cheat on his gf, I'd be completely up for it. I'm such a bad person! I am selfish... it's horrible.

Why can't I just let go of the mothereffing past? What is WRONG with me? Somebody help me.