I am SO Sorry [ToS]!

I believe that I have jinxed Broadway. I post a blog (when was this, yesterday morning?) and tonight I find out the [Title of Show] is closing?! Um, coincidence? I think not. What we have on our hands here people is a serious case of jinxing. And what I have on MY hands is the blood of a musical. OUT OUT DAMN SPOT.

If you don't know, [title of show] is a musical about two regular guys- Hunter and Jeff- who decide to write a musical, starring them and their "attractive and talented ladyfriends", Susan and Heidi. They end up getting into NYMF and winning some Obies and then Broadway! It's a musical about a musical. Yay!

To be honest, I don't own the OCR, nor have I seen the show but I'm already in love with the cast and the songs and just everything. I was planning on possibly going to see this for my birthday, which is, only naturally, AFTER they close.

Besides the actual show, I always completely fall in love with the story of how they GOT to Broadway, you know? They're not like, Elton John or some Disney spew that got their names up in lights with hardly any work. I mean, these cats were up by me at the Eugene O'Neil Theater Center working their butts off (I live 10 minutes from there: I feel special). And I was so excited for them when they got a theatre on Broadway and when they opened- seriously. I was SO happy for them. I still am happy for them.

Sometimes I feel like if I just freaking went to go see the show like I said I would... but I know my two tickets wouldn't save them. Still, I want to feel like I was at least supporting them. After all, they're everything I would hope to be. Well, at least SOMEBODY made it buddies. I send all my love in the world out to the show. In the mean time... I'll keep [Tos]sing.

Oh, God, Not XANADU!!!! WHY?!

Oh. No. Xanadu is CLOSING?

I've never seen Xanadu- the movie or show- but it all seemed a little bit too campy for me. However, I wasn't going to say it sucked until i saw it. And of course it didn't SUCK. Cheyenne Jackson- helloooooo. That is all one needs in life, I'm just throwing it out there.

Wait, AND Forbidden Broadway is closing? Damn you Bway Gods- what have you done to me? Or better yet, what have I done to YOU?

What's next? Should I be worried? Glory Days, Rent, Xanadu, PASSING STRANGE, Cry Baby... all gone. What's next? WHAT'S NEXT?! :p

Broadway is just tearing my heart open. I can only take so much after Rent closing. XD Maybe the West Side Story revival will make me happy again. My boyfriend, James Hayden Rodriguez, (and by "boyfriend" I mean person who was supposed to join the Spring Awakening tour cast and make me very happy) is in the WSS revival. That still makes me VERY happy. I was trying to find a picture of him for you guys to ogle but no such luck.

Okay, my mind is just all over the place today so let's take a sharp left turn onto Random Street and talk about how Lin-Manuel Miranda just made me smile. A smile bigger than the one James puts on my face! Next entry will be... more focused.

I'm Sure You Can Fit Through THAT.

Remember how TV is my bff? Well, I know I'm a little late, but I watched Hole in the Wall last night. That is the single GREATEST thing on television right now. Or it was last night anyways. It's a rip off of a Japanese game show (oh yes, you know that means GOLD) and people have to fit through a hole or shape in the wall. Words fail me so you'll just have to watch this:



That's from the episode I watched last night. I was on the floor the whole time. I mean, it doesn't get any more entertaining than that.

Hand Me the Remote and Fast Forward to the Drama

I'm sitting here, drinking my Crystal Light raspberry lemonade (that I stole from my sister, thanks sis), eating powdered donettes and watching 90210. I missed the premiere, twice, so I figured I'd catch up before it came on tonight. The idea came to light a little too late though: the premiere is 2 hours long, the new episode starts in 15 minutes and I'm not even an hour into the show. AH. That math doesn't add up in the way I want it to!

Really, I'm watching this show because the high schoolers (ugh, can I even call them that? How is that girl supposed to be 16?) are performing Spring Awakening. Ugh. I'm appalled by the whole thing. And I was never really a fan of the original either, although I probably wasn't old enough to grasp the concept anyways. But we'll ride it out. I'm still intrigued.

I've just realized how happy I am to have my fall TV back though. Gossip Girl is my guilty pleasure. What's going to happen with S and D and what's gonna go down when school starts back up. Where's J going to fit in? I AM SO EXCITED IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY. And why is Nate mackin on an old lady? Unf. I am obsessed. I saw a Gossip Girl calendar at work today- I need it.

I'm also happy for Ellen to be back, even though I fell asleep just before the end of her show today. And America's Next Top Model! Ah, how about that Isis, the first transgender contestant? She is so pretty. All those girls who don't like her- they're just jealous.

I don't know what I'm going to do when The Secret Life of the American Teenager goes off. How campy fabulous is that show? But I think I'll be fine. Just keep the television drama rolling in my direction.

Goodbye Love - Rent Entry #3

Seasons of Love came on at work, AGAIN. I went off into far off space for a second, imagining the cast lining up on the stage to sing it. I wish I were there. But I guess it's okay, and right, that I am not there. Or, perhaps, it doesn't matter. Rent isn't dying- it's just... closing. It's always going to be with me.

After I saw the Rent movie, I sobbed and sobbed. I went to bed and cried myself to sleep. I am in no way exaggerating. I am adopted, and when I was 11 I found out that my biological mother was HIV-positive, and a cocain addict at the time of my birth. I was young. I knew what HIV was, I actually believe myself to have an educated knwoledge about it. However, this didn't stop me from having negative thoughts about her. I wondered how she could have done this to me- "ruined" my life like that. I wondered what bad things she did to get HIV and blah blah blah.

After I saw Rent, the weight of everything I had ever said or ever thought came crashing down on me and I regretted it. How could I be so blind, or even judge someone I didn't know? When it comes right down to it, this women gave birth to me and there was always going to be some kind of connection there. And it's not like she just gave us up to pursue her own thing; it is documented that she tried to get clean to regain custody of my sister and I. I was ashamed of myself and worried for her. I wondered where she was- if she had died or how healthy she was....

This inspired me to learn more about HIV/AIDS. In my senior year in high school I decided to study AIDS education for my year-long project. I didn't get to carry it out as far as I would like but I had planned on starting my own education program. I was going to call it ANGEL: A New Generation Educating Life. That never really happened but I learned more than I could ever hope. I had to get my message out somehow. I ended up making a video, a sort of PSA about HIV and AIDS. Too many people think that it is a disease that happens to other people or in other countries. But here, in AMERICA, there are so many HIV-positive citiziens. Just because it's not an epidemic, like it was in the 80s, doesn't mean it's still not around. I was upset by the lack of knowledge that so many people seemed to have.

Rent's message of "no day but today" influenced me greatly as well. Live for the moment. Don't worry about what you did or what's going to happen. You have to appreciate what you have today. The friends I had, the life I lived.... Now when things get way to hectic I realize, I have to freaking slow down, look around, breathe. Tomorrow I could be gone and I don't want to wish I had done this or that.

Rent, you changed my life, and the lives of so many people. The show's closing, but the message is going to live on through the music, through the Rentheads, through community theatres and the movie. I promise never to let my Rent candle go out. Nothing could ever be enough but thank you- thank you Jonathan Larson.

Rent entry #2

Is it just me or did my number of views just go up? Are people reading my blog?! Or is it some kind of glitch? Unless I've been oblivious, it seems I've got up 5,000 views in a few days and I don't see that possible. I'm pretty sure everyone is being linked through that Miley Cyrus pic. Well... if you're actually reading, thank you.

But back to the most important thing: I CAN'T BREATHE.

Well, that's an exaggeration. But you get the idea.

It still hasn't hit me that Rent is closing. Seasons of Love came on at work today and I kind of froze, I stopped breathing for a second- but really I was just being a drama queen. I went right back to doing what I was doing. I don't even remember hearing the song go off. I even went to Borders today and almost bought the Rent bible but decided against it, with the reasoning that I really had no where proper to put it. I keep all my books in my dresser and there's no way the huge coffee table Rent book would fit in there. I was considering getting a "no day but today" tattoo but I'm even wary against that now, even though I've been so sure for the last how-many years. It's weird. I'll probably end up crying at work tomorrow. Or on Monday.

Where did all of this Rent business begin? Well, for me, it all started on February 24, 2006. I was in my junior year of high school. I had heard of Rent before but not enough to get me interested in it. Then, the musical theatre group at my school started rehearsing "Seasons of Love". I was an orchestra dork but we all did shows together because we shared a teacher so I got to hear them sing the song millions of times. Somewhere between the first and fourth time I heard it, I got tears in my eyes. Conveniently, the Rent movie was coming out so I would definitely have to see it. I ended up waiting until February so I could rent the movie from Blockbuster. I was so excited, I didn't even want to hear what the store employee had to say. I was more concerned with getting home and popping this bad boy into my dvd player.

I am not going to lie, not even a little bit. I was slightly confused. I didn't know who was HIV+ and who wasn't. I didn't know what the hell happened during Today 4 U because I didn't pay attention to the lyrics. I swear to God, I didn't know the song was called Out Tonight so I thought Rosario Dawson was saying, "Owwwoooo tonight". (You know, like that mating call/scream thing people do when they get excited or whatever.)

However, I cried and cried and CRIED when the movie ended. This was Rent? This was FANTASTIC! I couldn't even believe it; I was in shock. This could have been in my life for a long time- I just never knew how amazing it was. Suddenly, everything became Rent. I woke up bright and early the next morning and watched the documentary on Jonthan Larson. I cried at that too, OF COURSE. I was in awe of... this whole story. I was in awe of Jonathan and what he'd written and what happened to him and how monumental his piece seemed to be. After that I watched the movie again. This time, I got the "Out Tonight" and what happened to Evita the Akita. I made my dad watch it with me, even though he claims to hate musicals. I'm sure he did not appreciate it one bit.

I spent forever researching Rent online. I slowly began to figure out the lyrics (por ejemplo: "...Even your own blood cells betray" and "Find the one song before the virus takes hold"). I got the Rent bible and spent all night reading it. All I talked about was Rent and I was starting to no more than the musical theatre kids. I'm sure everyone around me, and especially my family, was annoyed but Rent was in my life now and it was never going to be the same again. Rent changed my life, and I'll tell you more about that tomorrow. (YIKES! TOMORROW. I'm scared.)

Rent Entry #1

Oh yes, this is Rent entry #1. There's two more where this came from. I mean, hopefully there are two more. I am going to feel like an uber jackass if I can't pull anymore words out of my butt. Let's take this slow.

Today, while cleaning my lovely (not) apartment, I played Rent in my lovely cd player. I was getting my groove on, let me tell you. And then it got to Will I? and I completely lost it. I was emptying the bucket I used to mop the floor and there were tears clouding my vision. I was hoping the toilet wasn't overflowing- I couldn't tell through my waterworks. Tears were EVERYWHERE. I'm sure I could've mopped the floor a little more with them if I needed to.

I guess some people wouldn't consider me a true fan. I've never seen it on stage. I got into Rent because of the movie. I didn't get the cast recording until last year when I traded my Voices for Rent points for it. However, I have kind of sort of met Anthony Rapp, I've read the Rent bible- although I don't own it. And... I sing the songs a lot? I'm not sure what is going to help people to consider me a Rent fan... or, dare I say, Renthead.

What makes someone a Renthead? There are so many arguments over this, it's not right. Someone once said they consider the Rentheads to be the people who waited in the rush line when the show opened. True. They are Rentheads. But what about the zillion of fans who have come after them? Perhaps they deserve the... honorary title of Renthead, too? I do believe Rentheads have a strong connection to the show. Rentheads support the show, no matter what. The show is forever in the hearts of Rentheads.

I know Rent means a lot to me and to hundreds of other people. But more on that later, for 2 reasons: I need something to write about in the other entries and my mom is arguing with my sister and I like the annoying bat she is. No day but today!